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Forget actors, the bicycle is the star of our Oscars

Friday, March 2nd, 2018 3:41pm
Category: Latest News

There’s nothing The Hub loves more than watching a bunch of overpaid, self-satisfied actors slapping each other on the back and discussing who they’re wearing.

Yes, The Academy Awards are back for another instalment of cloying glitz, swelling symphonic intro-music, and garbled tele-prompter reading (aren’t these people supposed to read scripts for a living?).

But where is the bike in all this auto-congratulatory nonsense? Nowhere!

That’s why The Hub has created its own Oscars ceremony, celebrating the outstanding contribution bicycles have made to the world of film.

So, sit back, pour yourself a stiff energy drink, and enjoy a real awards ceremony. Ladies and gentlemen, honoured members of the cycling academy, please put your hands together for The OsCRCrs! (see what we did there?)


Our first award is for Best Use of Visual Effects on a Bike in film. And the winner is…

The Kuwahara BMX, ridden by “Ell…i…ott”, in ET

There was only ever going to be one winner in this category, especially as most science fiction films are set in the future where, apparently, there are no bikes (according to sci-fi nerds… pfft).


Tonight’s second award is for best bike in an action sequence. And the winner is…

This old-school bike in Jackie Chan’s  – Project A.

The Hub counts some 24 stunts – mostly pretty dangerous – within just two minutes of this famous sequence in Jackie Chan’s ground (and spine) breaking Project A. Watch out for the quite unbelievable two-storey falls at the end. Crash mats, dummies, cutaways? Not a bit of it.



And now it’s time for our Lifetime Achievement Award. And the winner is…

The ‘Safety Model 1900 Orient’ bicycle, ridden by Miss Gulch in Wizard of Oz

In terms of iconography, these ten seconds of film and music are a permanent fixture on the world’s collective conscious. What the Safety Model 1900 achieved in this small window of opportunity will live on for many generations to come, as will that impish melody…


It’s now time for Best Bike in a Leading Role. And the award goes to…

The BMXs in BMX Bandits

It may have launched the career of Nicole Kidman, but on the positive side, it had a significant affect on BMX enthusiasm among the young impressionable kids of the world in the 1980s. From Nicole’s crazy crimped hair to the primary-colour mismatched jumper-trouser combos, this is probably the highest level of 80s ever captured on film and deserves recognition for this achievement alone.


Now for one of the best-loved categories – Best bike in a Comedy Role. And the award goes to…

The little girl’s bike stolen by Brand in The Goonies

Why did he think this would be faster than just running? What was the little girl waiting for, and why is she looking the wrong way as Brand rides off? How did that other guy manage to aim the rear-view mirror like that? All these questions will never be answered, but this still remains a magnificent moment for the bicycle on celluloid.


Best Sound Editing in a Bike-Related scene is our next category, and the award goes to…

The intro of Donnie Darko where Donnie rides a 10-speed Diamondback Master

There’s some controversy over the actual model of this bike, but the best answer so far has been the Diamondback Master road bike. Whatever the model, it’s a perfect bicycle performance backed by a classic INXS song in this disturbing movie about… well, no one has any idea what this film is about.


Best Bike in a Supporting Role. And the winner is… La La Land. No, wait, we meant to say…

The Panasonic Sport ridden by Tom Cruise in Risky Business

The bike doesn’t have a lot to do in this scene in the 80s omni-yawn that was Risky Business, but it looks damn fine doing it – a bit like yours truly’s work as an extra in Game of Thrones. Sleek, tall, with a wide frame and excellent rear hub, I really expected a lot more recognition for my time on screen.

That concludes our movie awards for tonight, but as we make our way to Elton John’s turbo trainer after-party, let us know which award-worthy bike performances we missed in the comments below.

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